May 10th. Just found out that a job I was at least hoping to get
interviewed for has been pulled. I decided to upgrade my professional
certifications and spent the day preparing for a study class
May
12-21st - A group us formed a study group. We met 8 hours a day
(excluding weekends). Very strange things to be doing during a 4th house.
I hadn't really thought of it at the time but the group met in my dining room.
I hung up white boards on the walls and it was a full fledge conference room.
In fact we heard the comment that it was the best training facility anyone had
been to in a while (I also fed them)
May
17th - Nebulous Neptune turns retrograde The long-term changes you are
undergoing in the way you experience and respond to first house matters will
come into focus. This may mean you are currently dealing with personal changes
in the way you present yourself or difficulties in managing your personal
relationships. The way you define who you are is in the process of changing,
for better or for worse. Be open to learning the lessons that are coming your
way.
Neptune's been sitting in my first house for
quite a while but the significance of the this retrograde is that Neptune is
headed back to an almost exact station (15 seconds of orb) in opposition to my moon (on October
24th). Natally I don't have any aspects between Neptune and the Moon and
I certainly don't have any oppositions. What that means is that
opposition is completely unique in my experience and in general I've found
that the lesson is fully realized by the direct station. The comments
down below describe some of what a Neptune opposition feels like.
You project your
internal, emotional confusion onto others and the world at large. There is
such subtle underplay of unconscious telepathic forces in relationships that
you're often unsure whether your problems originate in yourself or others.
You're extremely impressionable and absorb the atmosphere around you. Avoid dubious money-making schemes or financial
ventures. Domestic affairs are liable to be confused and disorderly due to
laziness or psychological problems originating in the past. Women have high
emotional tension. There will be emotional upsets in
the house occupied by Neptune that require sacrifice and understanding on your
part. There is much self-deception and psychosomatic illnesses are likely.
Your link with your mother may cause suffering and you may be separated from
her physically, emotionally and/or mentally. You must cultivate reasoning
power and not allow your emotions to control your actions.
May
18th - Venus retro in Gemini indicates that physical pleasure in relationships
is unlikely to be as great as the intellectual stimulation derived from them.
Social instincts are more geared to sharing ideas and picking up all kinds of
interesting information than intense physical or emotional encounters. We will
find inspiration in maintaining a wide variety of relationships with people
from different backgrounds and experiences.
May
21-Work, Work and more work.
May
22 - ran a few errands and the settled down in front of the TV to become
human vegetables when my girlfriend called and asked if we'd watch their
youngest for a few hours at our house. We're very close to their
children and view them as the nieces and nephews we don't have so of course
the answer was yes. The important thing to note here is that its been
almost 10 years since I've been part of something like this (outside my own
family of course). We watched Shrek again.
May
25th - Met with the writers group. Got four new members and officially
launched them as an independent group -- One of my objectives fulfilled for
the year
May 27
- Its been raining since Tuesday but
today the skies literally opened up
and dumped. Today is the first quarter moon.
.This First Quarter Moon has a lot
going on. The addition of Jupiter and Uranus to the Sun - Moon square
will force us to consider a wider scope and likely confront an obstacle or
concern we've completely overlooked. Energetically, this T-square pattern can
feel like we've spent too long in Starbucks. We may feel over-stimulated and
beset by competing needs for our attention. More than one person may present
an urgent problem and put us in a whirl. The key is to get perspective, do
some triage, and make a policy to guide you through this. Most important is
taking some time to step back and out, take deep breaths, look out the window,
and maybe walk in the park at lunch. The negative Sagittarian reaction is to
chuck it all and run away. Keep in mind that all this will affect you to a
greater or lesser degree depending on how connected your personal horoscope is
to the current planets in this pattern.
This tension continues through next Sunday when the Sun makes the exact right
angle with Jupiter and then leaves the T-Square.
Mediation
May 28th
Visited Athena to discuss what I should do next with my career. As
with all meditation this one went all
over the map.
The basic discussion revolved around my
returning to her "priesthood" Of course this was understood to not be
meant in the literal traditional Wiccan meaning. All true priestesses of
Athena hold down jobs in corporations or in politics or some other place where
they're able to wheel and deal and negotiate and generally due whatever it is
we do. The bottom line was that I needed to have more faith that she
will provide. This then lead to a conversation about faith in general.
I realized that everyone doesn't have access to mystical experiences and that
everyone can't shall we say "touch the hem of God/dess's robe." That
honestly never occurred to me -- after all I'm nobody special and if I can do
it anyone can do it. I've been accused of being arrogant because of this
attitude about a thousand times but no one seems to realize that I never mean
it in that light. I consider myself the quintessential definition of
baseline average then measure everything against that. Of course I'm not
average -- I'm not sure anyone is average and therein lies the key. If
none of us is average then each of us is unique and each of us has something
to share and a reason for being. After my discussion with Athena I came
to the conclusion that this site already sufficiently bares witness to whatever mystical insights I've been given so I am honoring the powers that be in
that regard as to the rest (the what do I want to be when I grow up).
Maybe I'll accept Athena's advice and trust her to provide.
May
31st
- We didn't have anything scheduled for today and the weather wasn't
good so we ended up cleaning up our offices. I got through two boxes of
paper that I've had sitting there for over a year.
Watched Timeline. Can't say I was surprised at how
boring it was -- the book didn't do anything for me either.
June 1st
The
Moon is in Scorpio today, reflecting our need for transformation.
Transformation is not just change. It is metamorphosis -- a shift from one
thing into another, like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly.
You are feeling some dissatisfaction
because you'd rather be putting your efforts toward something that you
consider more useful than what you are required to do. You could have
scattered duties that are pulling you all over the map. Even if you do what
you need to, you still might feel like you haven't completed what you
originally set out to do. Reliance on simple communication, coupled with
taking small steps is what will pay off
Did an
I-ching reading got
43
going to 1.
Seemed to have lots of over tones - the focus most stay on rooting out
negativity or areas where the shadow has gained a stronger than usual grip on
me.
One must be resolved against negativity - whether in one's social or professional life,
or in one's own soul. In either case, definite rules must be
followed for the struggle to succeed.
- The first rule: do not compromise; negative actions must be identified
openly for what they are, and discredited.
- The second: one cannot resist negativity on its own terms. New, positive
alternatives which lead away from the source of the problem are generally more successful,
and appropriate, than to counter negativity with raw power.
- The third rule: the means used to counter negativity must be consistent
with the end to be achieved. One cannot stop the spreading of lies by spreading more of
them.
The other message is that my totem of the
mountain goat is
there to help I have to say that I was surprised to see that I didn't
have anything on the totem page about the mountain goat. Some of the
most common and significant things are the things we don't comment on.
