12th House Journal

Dec 24 2006 -Jan 15 2007

Dec 24th-

Christmas eve. - BUSY!!  We were suppose to start at 3:00 which would mean 4:00 given that our family is always late and we were ready (though the effort almost killed us).  Unfortunately wires got crossed and they arrived at 6:30.  We did a traditional Italian 7 fishes dinner.  Seafood lasagna and lots of seafood appetizers.  Needless to say with all the picky eaters it wasn't a success.  We've resolved to one of two things next year.  Either cater or else come up with a solid recipe for cioppino and call it good.  I made everyone a special Christmas eve talisman based on an old Italian custom.  12 animals that they could select from a jar.  Since there were only 9 of us it meant that there would be some degree of choice.  I got the Athena Noctua and I was the last one to pick.  Clearly Athena had chosen to reenter my life next year.

Dec 25th  - Just did nothing -- we were too tired to do anything else

December 26th - more nothing

December 27th - went to work came home sick

December 28th - worked at home all day

December 29th - sicker than I was yesterday -- decided to spend some time thinking things through.  It's my 12th house and this year I want to take some time and really honor the 12 house

 Got interested in coming up with a ritual

Dec 30  - So I ended up writing up a small ritual.  I had decided to do it during the Saturn hour directly before sundown (betwixt and between -- neither day nor night).  I wrote out that I was willing to give up whatever I was hanging on to that was keeping peace from my life.  I found I couldn't bring myself to write happiness.  There is obviously much thought that needs to go into understanding that choice.  I then wrote out four things that I was specifically willing to give up if they were blocking me.  Ego, a desire for fame and fortune, and a desire for position were all things that I was willing to give up.  It's interesting that what I wrote is less clear now but chaos magic says do the spell and then put it out of your mind entirely.  Obviously I've done that.

I burned the piece of paper in the fireplace and it burned better than I think I've ever had a piece of paper that I was using in a ritual burn.  I then fixed some tarragon in the bowl of ashes and took it outside to Kwan Yin.  I gave the ashes to the earth and the air and asked her to bear witness to my act. 

January 2nd - Back to work.  Kind of a crazy day everyone was slow getting started.  CM came in and we chatted about something and he happened to make the comment that BA (our test manager) was showing as reporting to him.  Decided to send a note to TM asking what was going on.

January 3rd

Got a email back from TM that we should discuss it in my one on one.  Not really sure why but I knew as soon as I read the note that I had simply reached the end of my rope.  Told J that I'd be resigning by Friday

Asked what was going on with the 1 on 1 and got 5 (Waiting) with lines 4 and 6 moving to hexagram #1 the creative. My first reading of this was that I should be patient and not do anything and that there would be some sort of creative solution to my problem.

Breaking the ties that Bind --Ended up quitting that afternoon.  I've noticed that I can consult an oracle and if the need is strong enough I'll still go do what I have to do

Ok this is officially weird. Uranus transited back into my second house late yesterday.  It is rare that astrology so clearly forecasts what can happen.  I could make the case that since Uranus is in my sixth house natally and has always nudged me to change jobs -- that I was powerless when confronted with the fact that the job wasn't in keeping with my values. 

January 11th - they took me to lunch

January 12 - My last day at the office.  Ended up with an evening cocktail hour.