You're being called upon to focus your life, but you may be
living in a world of chaos. It's true that what you want is the most
important thing, if only you could establish what it is. You may want to get
accustomed to being a critter in motion, perhaps on the physical plane,
surely on the mental one, and more than likely in your emotional space as
well. I suggest you explore all potential avenues of output. Look for every
way to express yourself, and consider everything, your failures and
successes and those things that are unclearly one or the other, positive
developments merely for having conducted the experiment. You have long
imagined what you want to do or be, and you may fear that your ability to
create your world will fall short of your inner vision of what you want. The
creative process is messy, it can be wasteful, it leads strange places and
its outcomes are uncertain. All the more reason to indulge while the
indulging is good.
Busy
morning. Talked to CB about what was happening with their plan.
They had personnas developed but its interesting that they aren't being
marketed. 
The
third house rules our communication skills, learning, methods, daily
interactions and contact, and general "busy-ness". This is a favorable
time for learning something new, feeling at ease in social situations,
taking care of the details of daily life, and developing a mental
rapport with others. It is a time when you will be more aware of your
environment, and when you experience increased alertness. It's a good
time to take tests, fill out forms, start a new course, write letters,
make phone calls, and take care of daily tasks with energy. 
TWIM had to work so
CM2 and I went out shopping. We hit the cheap stores today and I got about
10 blouses. Very practical and a life saver. I had been feeling like I had
the start of a good wardrobe but that I didn’t have any outfits. I’m not
sure if I’ve commented that this is all part of the midlife re-invention.
The who am I now that I can’t be the maiden any longer. Sage Woman discusses
this as the step of Queen between Amazon/Mother and eventual crone-ship.
Life would be better if I was 10 pounds lighter but it is what it is.
The CMs came over
for dinner and we had a great time as always. We ended up talking about
what to do if disaster struck. Not sure why our focus is so much on the
fact that if society broke down we’d end up unable to survive. No seeds, no
source of potable water (i.e. no well) nothing to till the land even if our
land was flat enough to grow things on. Depression thought. Still some
level of disaster planning is appropriate under any circumstances
Spent the morning
packing. I’m definitely out of fighting trim. And I should be getting
ready for Sunday as well. Since I knew I wasn’t going to be meeting anyone I
opted for a simpler outfit then Mel and I had originally discussed. I
brought down the new outfit.
The
flight wasn't bad and I got there early enough to get my seat swapped out
for an aisle on the exit row both going down and coming back.
Got to the hotel a
little early and decided to get my coffee and muffin at Starbucks instead of
eating at the very expensive hotel coffee shop. Just in case I’d forgotten
how much California has changed I had to place my order at Starbucks three
times before she could translate what I was saying into Spanish. I’m not
sure why my great grandparents and grandparents thought it was so important
to speak English and our latest immigrants not only don’t but are rude about
the fact that we keep treating them as illegal aliens just because they
gained entry into the country illegally and now don’t think it’s important
enough to learn English. Political commentaries aside I then sat around
until 9:15 become progressively more and more nervous about why no one had
met me. Luckily the 15 minute grace rule is universal.
The interview
turned into a presentation from me (which I was nervous when I started) and
then a role playing session – luckily it ended before I could start to get
visibly frustrated. Yes Virginia there are clients from Hell and we’ve all
seen them. Actually it was a wonderful technique and I would recommended
using it as appropriate. We discussed my paper a little more and then BJ
said “when can you start” Nice magical words. We walked over to the
conference and a met a few people and then headed back to the airport for my
flight back. I should say that I really liked the people I spoke with and
was happy that I’d dressed exactly on the money even down to the choice of a
red top. I do have to get some better shoes and a new purse. Oh vanity thy
name is woman 
Picked up Born in
Death and read it on the way back on the plane. Bubblegum reading but
really good bubblegum. I wish there were more writers I could count on to
provide good books for airplanes (when you absolutely have to have something
that will hold your attention.)
Not moving very
fast – the stress from the trip to California left me a little pooped. I
did hear from KK around late morning. There is of course lots of paperwork
to process and she’s hoping that she can push it hard enough to get me a
start date of May 14.
Took the dog into
the vet only to find out that there is only a 2 hour window when a blood
test is possible. I’d shifted his pills to the evening and that didn’t
work. Now they tell me. The dog still seems somewhat lethargic but he was
worse on the full dose of medication I was suppose to give him.
Early appointment
with James – shared my news with him – had a nice chat. Got done a little
earlier than normal and headed over to the mall. Turns out nothing opened
at 9:00. Ended up walking over to the office and catching up with
everyone. Got my check (long story here) and then met TWIM so he could put
it in the bank. Wondered back to the mall by way of every furniture store
and then hit Macy’s looking for a purse (didn’t find anything worth
buying). Finally called it quits at around 4:00 – very long day all things
considered. 
I had lots of plans
for the day but we ended up moving more slowly than we’d planned. We got
into a very intense discussion about how we communicate. I think we
actually made some headway for the first time. Neither one of us ended up
mad at each other and I think he began to understand why I can’t always
engage in the discussions at the depth he’d like me to engage at.
We then
ended up talking about my office (which of course I’m fixated on) and
decided we’d go to Costco to look for a new monitor. Didn’t end up going
there – went to IKEA instead and then to Sam's. TWIM found a new office
chair that looked worth considering either for his office or mine. Got home
about 7:00 and we were both pooped. 
Caught up on the
shows we hadn’t watched on Thursday or Friday. Raines finished up it’s very
brief mini-season. We both engaged it’s strange funky style mostly because
Goldblum is so talented. TV is changing significantly and I’m not sure it’s
for the better. I read that viewing is down especially since audiences are
not appreciated the hiatus between shows. Battlestar is gone and won’t be
back for a year. In that timeframe it is very easy to give up and not care
(which is what they’re seeing with both Heroes and Jericho
I was going to try
and go to church but ended up not feeling well enough to do much of
anything. Not sure why it was. I hope it wasn’t that I did a lot of
walking on Friday and then lots of walking/shopping yesterday. The thought
that my stamina is that miniscule is fairly frightening.
Spent the day
sorting some things in my office but also designing how my new office
should be laid out. I went through all my feng shui books to try and decide
what would be appropriate. It’s a west room and I’m an east person. In
fact the real answer is that TWIM and I should switch up that’s never going
to happen, plus I like my office even if something about it has never quite
felt right. The final plan
isn’t radically different but does change the orientation. The office
furniture I really want would run about 3500 dollars – I think I can do it
for about half that – won’t be as nice but it’s probably a better value.
Heard from my best
friend from elementary school today SB. Turns out she lives just down the
road. Hope we can get together and catch up. We drifted apart
when we went to different JR. Highs but it would still be great. 
Got a note from AC
today. Turns out she does live about two hours from here. LJ, SB, AC and I
are all within 2 hours and we’ve all been here for years. Interesting
phenomenon. It really doesn’t matter if we have anything in common. We
have each other in common. I hope to meet with Carol on the 12th to catch
up and then with any luck we’ll do a mini reunion with all of us sometime
over the summer. Obviously this got me involved in playing with the
reunion software and writing a bio. What I’m really struggling to do is to
decide who I’m going to be when I grow up.
"This
period is setting our future Dharma resulting from the
choices and changes of the mid-December through early
January Jupiter biseptile Saturn, a time when all of us
confronted major forks in the road of our destinies. These
choices continue to shape our personalities toward a
future on the way like an express train over the next few
months."Interesting. Clearly December and early January was a significant time for me since it was when I realized that I absolutely had to make some major changes in my life (I resigned on the 3rd of January). A transiting biseptile (also known as 7th harmonic aspects) never struck me as a particularly but it might be activated by the fact that my natal pluto is exactly conjunct transiting saturn and that would make it biseptile Jupiter.
"Due to Saturn's association with the
number 7, when these septile aspects are
active, it is a "destiny producing"
influence, and as such are associated
with "forks in the road," where we make
choices that throw our "destiny" into
its path for some time to come. It may
not make much sense why we have to make
certain choices when we do, or why
certain pathways open and others close,
but choose we must, for even not to
choose is a choice that opens doors and
closes others.
Finished Cleaning office
Full Moon in the THIRD HOUSE, the energies will be
abundant, accessible and inspiring. You are able to divine a deeper meaning
now to the patterns of daily life. What I notice this third house is that
there is always a strong drive to get something in the immediate environment
in order -- a couple of years its been the yard and this year its been the
office. Obviously there's a bu
Ended
up cleaning the house along with KJ. I had work to do and I didn't
want to do it but I really didn't have any choice. A) it needed to be
done and B) I hadn't seen him in a month and he likes to chat.