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Journey - Home to Nglas |
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Journey - Home to Nglas |
August 1, 2002 Lughnasadh.
I wasn't sure where I was going to go. That I had questions and needs was clear - where the answers would be, as always, was elusive. The mind may set a direction in the otherworld but the heart always knows where it needs to go. Almost without volition I found myself being scooped up by Evangeline and guided upstairs to my workroom and firmly pressed down on the chaise I kept there for meditative journeys.
I had come with a question about how best to observe Lughnasadh in a year where the harvest was poor. The answer that came to me lying on the couch with Evangeline hovering over me was the lesson of the prune. In good years the plums are ripe and sweet and we can relish their taste knowing that they are one gift in summer's bountiful gift basket. In bad years the plums are fit only to be dried as prunes and those useful only as aids to elimination. The message was clear - in a bad year embrace the opportunity to let go - examine what is truly important. Sound advice, worth of being acted upon.
I opened my eyes to find find Evangeline hovering over me urgently whispering "know that you are one of our own, know that we claim you, know that nothing will cause that to change. I will always be here for you - there are constants - that we are here is one. Know that you are one of our own."
The urgency in her voice implied to me that I had failed again, that I had fallen off the path and was now paying the price. Fortunately or unfortunately wallowing in self pity is simply not allowed in the otherworld, I don't know if it's against the rules or just simply a violation of the nature of things and I left the journey with renewed energy to once again get back on the path
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Sometime only sleep explains the real meaning of a journey
August 3, 2002
"Evangeline" I said as I poured myself my second cup of tea of the morning. "I was a little slow on the uptake yesterday, wasn't I?"
She handed me a plate with a wedge of griddle cake she had just finished making. "Only a little. You wanted to try it your way and we had to let you. You know you have free will."
"But I spent six months knocking my head against a stone wall and for NOTHING!!"
Urgh.. I thought to myself. Six months ago I had decided to take the next step in my life both in the inner world and the outer world. I had decided that I needed to prove that I really was capable of being a light in my profession, a wayshower of the first water. And it failed miserably leaving me depressed, exhausted and with laryngitis for the last 9 days.
She joined me at the table and poured herself some tea. "Well, now you've gotten it out of your system and you can know that where you belong is here in Nglas with us. This has always been your home, it is who you are. Why you would even think of being anything else, escapes me but now I know you understand and accept what is."
"Nglas claims me", she had said yesterday. I had taken it as a vote of emotional support from a dear friend but it had meant so much more. In the land of the Winds we all have a center point, a land where we belong where we draw strength, the land that claims us, that we in turn claim. Even though I chose to make my home in Nglas I have always worked on both the inner and outer planes in the land of Dubh. The land of the magician, the cyber-mage, the wizard, and the creators of innovative things. Living in Nglas and working elsewhere is quite normal, after all it the inhabitants of Nglas that are the builders, the teachers, the organizers, the little gnomes that keep the wheels of life turning by knowing where to apply the grease. It is the inhabitants of Nglas whose true element is wood, or grounded air.
"Evangiline" I asked, setting my now cold cup down on the table. "Spell it out for me in full sentences, if you will. I'd rather not find I've gotten it wrong this time."
She shook her head and smiled sadly at the prickly tone in my voice. "You said you wanted your key. This is of course what you've been trained for all your life, so it is not ego or ambition. Despite what you might think being a key holder to the council of the winds takes a special talent - all key holders serve at the grace of all the lands. Without support from the other 11 lands no one reaches the purple. It's our attempt at representative government. Its how we assure that decisions are made for the good of all people not just for a select few. What you have to understand is that Nglass wishes you to be a key holder, we have nudged you and supported you in this direction since you were a child. You must earn it but it's our hope that you do."
.Now it's my turn to shake my head. "Evangeline, this is madness. You ask me to accept something that has no analogue in the real world. I am many things but crazy isn't one of them. I have no need to be something in the other world that I'm not in the real world. I was willing to earn my place by actions in the day to day world - you talk as if that isn't important."
"And because you can't see the relationship does it mean it's not there? Have you suddenly become the knower of all things, and the keeper of all wisdom?"
It's a fine line to walk in the innerworld. One should never accept things that don't make sense because there are traps for the ego every step of the way. Any thing that is self inflating, should be looked at with extreme suspicion and I feared that was what I was hearing Evangeline imply. A thousand thoughts ran through my head, answers, responses, teachings I have studied for over 20 years. Finally I hit on the only response possible. I bowed me head and said "I live to serve the great work, where I am called I will go, where I am needed I will be"
She sighed. "Thank heavens. After all these years you should know how to handle a issue like this. So will you trust that there is a reason for what you can't see at the moment? Will you follow our advice, for just a little while and see what unfolds?"
I laughed. "Why not, can't be any worse than following my own nose. So while I work on the inner planes what would you have me do in the outer?"
"Why, just do what you're good at. You'll find a role, you always have."