South Southwest Wind

Friendship Blessing
May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where
there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.
May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and
affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them;
may they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth,
and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara

The lessons of this wind are a mandatory study for every follower on the path of Draiochtgé

Anamchara (ahn-im-KAR-uh) is a Gaelic word that means "soul friend." A soul friend is a person who provides others with coaching, support and guidance as they progress along the path toward fulfilling their spiritual and mystical potential.

Originally, the ancient Druids functioned as soul friends to the pagan Celtic chieftains; later on, the Christian saints took over this spiritual role, providing direction and guidance to anyone who wished to grow spiritually. Today, anyone can have (or be) a soul friend. A person does not need to be of Celtic ancestry to benefit from having or being an anamchara.

In its simplest form, a soul friend is anyone who provides spiritual support to another, no matter how humble or "ordinary." In a more formal way, an anamchara is a mentor or a coach -- a person who shares his or her knowledge or expertise with others, usually in a structured way. Such an anamchara may provide his or her services as part of a religious community (such as a Christian minister or a Wiccan priestess) or may work independently (such as a spiritual coach or professional psychic).

Finding a Soul Friend

Soul friendship is a spiritual practice, not an institutional ministry. In other words, there is no governing body that licenses people to be anamchairde (such as how doctors or lawyers receive accreditation). For this reason, a person who desires a spiritual mentor must take responsibility for finding the guide who is the right fit for himself or herself. Truly, it would be impossible to standardize personal spiritual guidance, for each of us is unique and each has unique needs in relating to the mystical journey.

Still, there are basic principles that anyone can follow in looking for spiritual guidance. A soul friend may be informal or formal, may be mutual or mentoring, and may be fee-based or free. Let's look at each of these characteristics in turn.

Informal soul friends are simply those people who enter our lives, with whom we find it easy and lovely to open ourselves up on a deep spiritual level. Like any other friendship, this kind of relationship cannot be forced -- it simply happens. When it does, it is beautiful and reflects the most authentic spirit of the anamchara. Alas, since it cannot be forced, for many people this kind of relationship is all too rare. A common complaint among spiritual seekers is "I have no one to talk to!"

Formal soul friends, or spiritual guides or directors, can fill the gap when we do not have any informal soul friends to help us with interior growth. These are people who have made a conscious effort to provide spiritual guidance to others, and often have received extensive training within their tradition to do so effectively and ethically. A formal soul friend could be a professional religious worker, such as a priest, nun, or monk. But this person could just as easily be a layperson. In the Wiccan and Druid traditions, priests and priestesses who lead small groups are often skilled at providing formal spiritual guidance. Working with a formal anamchara can provide a structured environment where questions of spiritual growth are explored. Because the relationship is formal, some sort of exchange is appropriate. Individual spiritual directors may require a fee, while those who are linked to a religious organization (such as a parish or monastery) may expect their clients to provide financial support to the organization.

Mutual soul friendship refers to any spiritually-grounded relationship where two individuals come together to provide support to one another. This usually implies that both parties have attained a certain level of spiritual and life maturity. Although both informal and formal soul friendships could function in this mutual way, as a general rule our informal soul friends tend to provide more of a mutual relationship, while a formal spiritual guide functions more as a mentor.

Mentoring soul friendships are those in which one person is clearly providing support, direction, and guidance to the other. A priest provides counseling to a layperson; a guru teaches her disciple; a master shaman instructs a seeker. This one-on-one model of spiritual growth and development exists the world over and remains the single most powerful method of spiritual growth. When the ancient Druids counseled their Celtic chieftains, they did so as spiritual mentors. Even though a soul friend is a "friend," when the friend is also a mentor there are great opportunities for interior development.

Fee-based soul friendship, as explained above, is often part of a formal or a mentoring relationship. Usually those who charge for this ministry do so because they are not supported by any organization (such as a church or a monastery). While it is not necessary to pay for a spiritual director, by the same token it is ethical and appropriate for a spiritual guide to charge a reasonable fee for his or her service. It is the responsibility of the directee to evaluate the soul friendship and to determine if it represents a good value.



What does a Soul Friend do?

The beauty of the anamchara is that it is unique and personal. No two sets of soul friends look exactly alike. When two people come together for the purpose of spiritual growth and development, there is always a third element -- the presence of Spirit. This is something that cannot be controlled, managed, or predicted. In the intimacy of one-on-one relating, soul friends open up to the leadings and nudgings of eternity.

On a "nuts and bolts" level, a formal soul friend relationship might look like this: two individuals agree to meet regularly, not too frequently nor infrequently -- once a month might be a good rhythm. Meetings can last anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours, and explore any topic related to spiritual growth, especially in experiential terms. In other words, this is not therapy, and therapeutic issues (managing life, stress, and emotional well-being), while certainly relevant to spiritual growth, should not take center stage. Neither is it a college course on mysticism, nor is it just a "cosy chat" on feel-good topics. At its best, it is a warm but serious arena where topics such as mysticism, meditation, inner growth, and commitment to spiritual principles may be nurtured and cultivated.

Dragonflies and damselflies have been around for over 180 million years. They begin life in the water, and as they grow, morph into winged ballet dancers. They are never far from water and are very territorial. Those with one of these totems can be passionate, emotional but learn balance of mental clarity and control as they get older. They have elongated bodies with a beautiful, jewel-like coloring. Their colors develop over time as they mature, showing that perhaps with maturity our own true colors come forth. This is part of dragonfly medicine. Dragonflies have broader bodies, enormous eyes, hold their wings out when resting and eat in flight. Damselflies, however, are more slender, delicate, fold their wings back, and land before eating. These two insects do amazing dances in the air, twists, turns, hover, up, down forwards and backwards. These feats can teach us to express ourselves with new perspectives or changes. The magic of these two insects is the power of light and all that has ever been associated with it. We are reminded that we are light and can reflect the light in powerful ways if we choose to do so. They can help us to see through the illusions and thus allow our own light to shine. Which brings the brightness of transformation and the wonder of colorful new vision.

The following chant is from DJ Conway's book, "Animal Magic".

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